Coffee or Cocaine?

My wife says that I drink too much Starbucks coffee, that it costs too much money and that, despite the fact that I always get the no-sugar, lite coffee Frappuccino's, it doesn't help me lose weight. I said, "Maybe I should do cocaine instead then!" She said, "Well, at least it would help you lose weight!"

I've never done cocaine. For those of you who have, I have some questions.

1. Is it true that it helps you lose weight?
2. Is it addictive?
3. Isn't it true that it's illegal or something?

For the time being, I'll stick with coffee. Let me know, though.