How I Ended Up in Bill Maher's Audience!

Yeah, I know it's hard to tell, but I promise you that's me in the blue shirt. This is taken from an episode of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO back in October 2005. How I got to be in his audience was quite interesting so I'm going to tell you the story.

I was in LA visiting and was staying with my friend Laura Silverman, who is in the red blouse next to me in the box. Laura has a good friend, Elise, who at the time had retired from CBS the month before and moved to Oregon. Elise had told Laura that she was coming back to LA for a couple of days and it would be during the time I was visiting. Sure enough, Elise called Laura to tell her she had arrived and we got together. Both Laura and Elise are real smart, sweet ladies. At the end of our visit, Elise asked if we could drop her off at CBS but because her visit was so short, she could not take the time to visit all of her friends there. She was to see only one of her many friends. So as not to offend them, she asked us to drop her off after 5 pm and through the back entrance. Sure, no problem.

On the way to the CBS building, she called her friend at CBS and told her that we were coming. Her friend told her to invite us on a tour, so we didn't just drop Elise off, we went inside and met her friend, a higher-up at CBS who will go nameless here. She gave us a VIP tour - nice! It was a lot of fun and we got to see several TV sets, including that of The Price is Right. She then asked us if we'd like to be an audience member in any of the shows that were taping that evening. I asked which shows were taping and she mentioned Bil Maher's live show was going to start at 8 pm. I'm a big Bill Maher fan so I quickly agreed, with Laura's consent, for us to be in the audience. Bill Maher is on HBO but his set is at CBS. In other words, even though his show isn't on CBS, HBO uses CBS's production facilities.

When we got to the place where people were lined up to be in the audience, I was dismayed to see how long the line was. Our kind escort laughed and said, "No, you're in that line over there." What line? Actually, we were the FIRST in the VIP line!

So we got to enter the studio first and we chose to sit in the center of the audience, on a platform that was raised above the rest of the audience. The platform could hold about 20 people I think and the whole audience maybe could hold 500. That's why Laura and I appear higher up than those people next to us.

Being on the platform in the center was cool because we were at eye level with Bill so he appeared to be talking to us most of the time during his opening monologue. Being in the audience was totally unplanned and unexpected. It just sort of happened. That's how life works sometimes!

Two of the Most Beautiful Places in the World

The story goes of the man from Italy taking a tour of Colonial Williamsburg, the 400-year old town here in Virginia. The tour guide there points to one of the buildings and proudly states that it was over three hundred years old. The Italian man snorts and declares, “My house is older than that, better built, and prettier too!”

There are many ancient places in Italy, of course, and many of them are quite beautiful, especially those on the ample coastlines, where the houses and churches perched on the hillsides and cliffs reflect in the limpid waters. Two of my favorite ancient places are Le Cinque Terre (The Five Lands or Villages) in Liguria and the Amalfi Coast in Campania.

There’s a very good reason why UNESCO has named Le Cinque Terre a World Heritage Site. The five villages are Monterosso (the biggest), Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarola and Riomaggiore. Each town is perched on the cliffs, is absolutely charming in its own way and is worth visiting to taste Heaven on Earth. Avoid arriving during the summer when tourists are swarming everywhere and you find yourself hearing every language but Italian. We went in March when the weather was perfect and it was a lot easier to chat with the locals, eat the wonderful focaccia and fish, and view the stupendous seaside sunset without interference.

While Le Cinque Terre is still a bit of a secret, Amalfi has a rich history as a major port, city state and military power. The Amalfi Coast is well-known to the rich and the famous but you don’t have to be either to enjoy this beautiful area and visit all the famous ancient towns of Sorrento, Salerno, Positano, the Isle of Capri with its Blue Grotto and more. We stayed at La Villa Lara, a reasonably priced but beautiful and friendly hotel a short walk up the hill through the shop and restaurant lined main street, well worth it for the beautiful scenery you can see from your balcony high up. The local people here, as in Le Cinque Terre, were friendly and ready to chat over a cup of coffee or liqueur.

The first photo you see above I took in Positano, one of the towns on the Amalfi Coast, maybe the most beautiful. The second and third photos I took in Vernazza, one of the five villages of Le Cinque Terre. You can see more photos I’ve taken of both areas on my photos website, www.joeganci.com. Enjoy!

My Italian Presentation in an Irish Pub in Chinatown

I belong to a travel meetup in Washington, D.C. Because of my busy schedule, I have only gone once before, this past Spring. I also had agreed months ago to present on "Joe's Italy" yesterday. The meetup was in the Irish Channel Club which is in a hotel in Chinatown. Does anyone besides me think that's funny?! I took the photo you see here after I left the meeting.

There were 37 people at my presentation - a great turnout! My presentation was well-received, 5 stars out of 5 according to those who voted. I got many compliments after the presentation and a few emails. Here's an excerpt of one I got today:

Joe, I thought your presentation was outstanding. Your presentation style was the best I've seen. I really enjoyed it. You have a remarkable knowledge and set of experiences,
Isn't that nice? It's always great to get positive feedback!

I used Adobe Captivate to set up a slide show of 587 slides, each with 3 seconds in between. I also put a lot of Italian music in the background, a real eclectic mix of modern pop, folk and classical. I spoke to the presentation the whole time but will make a narration track soon and then I'll be able to post it to the web. It'll be a Flash file so everyone should be able to see it. I also will redo it in the authoring tool we've invented at DazzleTech called Substance. I think it will prove faster to create in Substance than in Captivate, though Captivate has a nicer interface (for now!).

No Body Means No Body

This is the error message I got on Facebook this morning when I tried to send someone a message. At first I was afraid that I had died during the night and I was writing as a spirit! What happened to my body and how was I managing to type without corporeal fingers? Ah, but then I realized that it meant I had written no message text yet. That's the problem with giving up coffee three days ago - I'm not quite awake yet at 6:15 a.m.!

Starbucks and Blowers

So there I was on my way to two destinations. First, I needed to drop my dog off at the groomer's and then I needed to see an important potential client. Stopping for my morning Starbucks coffee, I noticed the place was a little more crowded than usual and the barristas were a little more rushed than usual.

Of course, it had to happen. The cup top wasn't on very tight, probably because the barrista was rushed, and no sooner did I get in the car and go for a sip than coffee spilled on my pristine white shirt! Oh, no!!! What to do? If I showed up at the client site with a coffee-stained shirt, they surely would have me kicked out!

So I brought my dog to the groomer and asked if I could use their bathroom to wash my shirt. She said she was sorry but the bathroom was not for the public. I gave her my sob story, how I was going to meet the client and millions (OK, hundreds maybe) was riding on my wearing a clean shirt and I didn't have time to go home and change. She acquiesced and allowed me into the bathroom where I proceeded to wash my shirt with soap and water while still wearing it. I got it clean, finally, but now I was faced with a very wet shirt and not enough time before seeing my client for it to dry.

I saw one of the nice groomer ladies holding a wicked-looking hair dryer, obviously for use on large hairy wet dogs. I asked her if I could use it to dry myself and she said it was expensive and couldn't let a customer use it.

"But, " she then said, "while I can't let you blow yourself, I can blow you if you like." My right eyebrow raised à la Spock, I slowly said, "OK..." and put my arms out so she would have full access to...my shirt. She then realized what she said, gave me a smile, and proceeded to "blow me" with the hair dryer. It was quite an experience. It felt like those big blowers in the car washes. I felt as if I was in a wind tunnel! I had to brace myself so as to not fall over!

Ah, but in the end...I was dry as a bone! Thank you, nice groomer lady!

Weird Dream

I don't usually remember my dreams, because the clowns that haunt them are kind enough to let me forget them when I wake up. That's why one of my favorite mottos is: "Can't sleep - the clowns will get me. Can't sleep - the clowns will get me."

Anyway, this morning I woke up with a dream fresh in my mind. Here are the details:

1. I was meeting my wife Ivana after work every day. She worked in a large building. I'm pretty sure it was a bank headquarters.

2. While waiting for her one day outside the building, I looked up and saw elevated train tracks, pretty high up. The only problem was that a large piece of the train track was missing.

3. Suddenly, I see a train traveling on the track right towards the piece that is missing. I brace myself for the horrible consequences.

4. However, the train appears to continue on its merry way over the missing track. I now realize that the track isn't missing, it's simply transparent in that area. (Note, that the track appears to be hanging in the air with no support beneath).

5. I breathe a sigh of relief but it's short-lived because now that the train has continued its journey, I see two trucks coming down the track as well but now a piece of the invisible track, now somewhat visible to me, appears to be a drawbridge and is rising.

6. The first truck makes it over because the rising track has just begun to rise, but the second truck gets there too late and simply falls straight down onto the street below.

7. Luckily, though there is a lot of traffic, the truck falls onto an empty spot on the street, right in front of a bus, and is undamaged. After a moment, the truck driver continues driving.

8. I kick myself for not having my camera with me at the time and go inside to meet Ivana in the lobby.

9. Somehow I find myself outside and the scene repeats itself exactly the same way but this time I have my camera and capture the whole thing. Both times, I was not the only one looking up, there were many others looking too and some of them had cameras.

OK, folks, are you a dream interpreter? You can write your interpretation comments here!

Ferragosto Picnic at Great Falls Park

Today we attended the Ferragosto picnic. Ferragosto is an Italian holiday celebrated every year on August 15 because this is the day that Catholics believe that Mary, Jesus' mother, was brought up to heaven, still alive and in her body. But during Ancient Roman times, this date was also celebrated to honor the Goddess Diana. The holiday takes its name, in fact, from the ancient Roman name of Feriae Augusti. Most Italians take the whole month of August as vacation, except for essential personnel (and some of them disappear too!). The cities empty out, many stores stay closed, and everyone flocks to the beaches and the mountains, both prime vacation spots in Italy, which is both mountainous and full of beautiful beaches.

Here in the States, of course, many of us work way too hard and hardly take any time off from work. So a couple of local guys took it upon themselves to have a Ferragosto picnic last year and this year. Last year there were more people; this year it was sparsely attended, as you can see. However, you can see what a beautiful place Great Falls park is. Ivana and I brought our dog and our Italian friend Yvette. Our dog loved being at the park as he usually does when he's surrounded by the wonderful smells of nature, the stinkier the better!



More photos. Click on each to make it BIG.

Dinner with Old Friends

For lunch we had seen David and his family. David and I used to work at USI in the mid-90s. I also worked there obviously with others and, for those who know me, I obviously also made other friends besides David (because I'm a friendly guy...also humble!).

Two others of my very good friends from that time are Joel and Norman. From that time, we three and our families have met often, as often as we've been able, usually in one of our homes. Tonight, though, we had decided to dine at Mailbu Grill, a restaurant patterned after the Brazilian style of bringing meat to your table on a skewer and putting it on your plate. When you want meat, you turn a peg on your table so that the green side is up (see it on the table in the first photograph?). When you've had enough for now, you turn it so that the red part is up.

Norman and Myrel's two boys, Ben and Noah, are growing fast. Both are such happy boys! That must have something to do with their parents...you think?

As usual when we get together, we talk about EVERYTHING...work issues, politics, work, politics...is there anything else in life? Oh, of course there is and we talk about those things too.

So today was a reunion of USIers...David and his family at lunch and Norman and Joel and families at dinner.

I am so lucky to have such good friends! And they are so lucky to have to have Ivana and me as friends...such humble, humble friends.

Lunch with Old Friends

Today Ivana and I met with our friends David and Norah and their beautiful family. David and I used to work together at Universal Systems Inc. back in the mid-90s, after which it became Integic and then part of Northrop Grumman.

While we've seen David on occasion in the last few years, including at my parties and as part of business meetings, we had not seen Norah in about 10 years! At the time, Leilani, their oldest, was just a baby and there were no other children. Now they have four gorgeous kids, each with a distinct and wonderful personality. The day was warm and really nice, the food was delicious and best of all was the company. Meeting David and Norah's kids and seeing Norah again and knowing David as we do, we are convinced that we will be getting together a lot more often!


















My goodness, look at that smile!!!

Meetups Are Great!

One of the best websites around is www.meetup.com because it's one of those rare sites that actually tries to get you away from your computer. The concept is simple: type in your zip code and your area of interest (knitting, nuclear physics, Italian) and a list of meetups covering that topic in your area will be listed, if any exist. In most any big town, yes, there will be meetups covering your topic, no matter how unique. I joined about a year ago to join up with other Italian speakers and have made a lot of friends through this organization. The cost is next-to-nothing, usually a couple of bucks thrown in the kitty to help the organizer of the meetup you're attending pay the website fee. Typically the meetups happen in restaurants, Starbucks, or occasionally in someone's home. It's not a dating service, but can you think of an easier place (if you're single) to find someone who shares an interest of yours than at a meetup specifically set up to address that interest?

I'm sold on the idea of meetups. In fact, I took over a local Italian meetup after the previous organizer moved and our meetup starts in 20 minutes. Oops, I'd better get going!!

I feel pretty...oh so pretty...

So I had a meal in a nice Chinese restaurant the other day. When they brought the fortune cookies to the table, I opened mine and got the "fortune" you see here..."You look pretty"...so here's my question: what is going on here? I thought fortune cookies were supposed to tell you your fortune, not state the obvious! All I have to do is look in the mirror to see just how damned pretty I am. I don't need some guy in Shanghai to have put this message in a cookie and send it my way.

Next time, I hope not to get another obvious true statement like "You are very smart." or "You have dreamy eyes." or "You are the end-all and be-all of humankind." Give me my fortune! Tell me something I don't know!

Oh, look, on the other side are some lottery numbers. Cool! I'm going to be rich!