Pet Peeve #821: Voice Mail Systems

Here's one that gets me. I have a voice mail system at the office and a separate one on my cell phone. I also have an answering machine at home that I can check remotely by pressing keys on a phone, just like voice mail. Of course, I also travel a lot and stay in a lot of hotels, and the phones in my room have their own voice mail systems...

AND THEY ALL USE DIFFERENT CODES!

On some systems, I have to press 3 to erase a message, but on other systems 3 means save the current message and move to the next one! On some I use 8 to erase a message but on others 8 means to call the person who left the message! Do you think I can keep all these systems straight? The simple answer: NO. I always end up erasing messages I want to keep and calling people I don't want to talk to at the moment.

On my office phone, I have to press 2 to hear new messages. Where's the sense in that? Most others use 1 for that. But if I hit 1 on my office phone it means start a fire in a random part of the building...I think. I don't know; I'm afraid to hit that one.

So here's my question: why on Earth can't sadistic voice mail system inventors standardize on one set of codes? Make it simple! Oh, wait, it's because they are SADISTIC!